when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
