Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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