are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
