can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
