Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
