Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize