If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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