hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
