ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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