I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
