I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
