so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
