I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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