i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
