Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
