At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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