Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
