I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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