oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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