when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
