The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
