i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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