she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
