I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize