it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
