I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
