this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
