morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize