So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
