Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
