Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I can feel your judgement through the phone
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
