grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
