i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
