I feel great
I just peed on a car
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
