i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
