I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize