I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Randomize
