sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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