YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
