my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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