His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
