yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
