i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
