David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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