don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize