My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
