the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
