I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
