dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
