"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
