Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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