You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
