I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
my penis made a compromise with my morals
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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