Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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