He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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