he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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