The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Bang-toberfest begins!!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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