Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
