no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
