is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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