I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
