I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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