would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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