I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
