She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I smell like Dick and happiness
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize