bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
