We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
