Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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