The maid of honor just puked.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize