I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
