Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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