Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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