Porn is love you can see.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize